Mother's Day sadness 💔

I was talking to another mom today and I asked her what she was doing for Mother's Day. The conversation was spawned by us talking about the hectic Mother's Day weekend coming up with all the crazy kids activities. She just looked at me and said, "I don't really care about that day. We are just busy and not celebrating." Most people might be taken aback by that statement but I understood her 100%. She is the sweetest person, she always has a smile on her face and looks to have it all together-"The perfect mom." But I know she lost a son. She is missing a child on this earth...just like me. So for her Mother's Day is just another painful reminder of something that was taken away from her. Not a something but a child, a love, a piece of her soul. I understand that she has a huge hole left in her heart that can't be filled. It is truly painful. Mother's Day opens the wound further and makes it freely bleed. Basically it just plain sucks-if you didn't appreciate my previous metaphor. I haven't said this out loud before, but I hate the day. I don't want to celebrate it. I don't want to be cherished or loved on or treated extra special on this day. I don't want the big deal made. It just reminds me that I was made a mother, it was great, and then I somehow failed at my job. Maybe not failed, but regardless that's how I feel. Basically all holidays and special days kind of suck now.  They only seem to remind me of what is missing from my life and it's really hard to celebrate. I put on a smile and do it for the kids...only. They need it, I don't.

I just looked at my friend today with understanding eyes and said, "Yeah, I get it. Who cares." It got me thinking, and these would never have been my thoughts before I lost Mary, so I felt them worth sharing.  Please try to be sensitive to your hurting friends during these times. Take a minute to be thankful for your blessings, then consider those who don't find celebrating this day so fabulous. It would be the moms who have lost children. Some you might not even know are carrying this pain and dark secret. Ladies who can't conceive are hurting. Women who have miscarried feel sad. Those who have lost mother's miss them and feel depressed. Pray for them all. If they are your friend you could ask them to do something fun and distracting without any mention of their pain. If they want to talk, then talk. Or mainly just try to listen. If you are a husband you could let your wife navigate Mother's Day. Maybe she doesn't want to celebrate at all, just ask her. She may need to spend some time alone.  She may want to sleep all day. She may want to see a movie or shop or take a get away trip and not call it a "Mother's Day" gift/trip. These are just some thoughts from a mom who understands and I hope they are helpful.