This saying always cracks me up. No matter what resolutions we make it is still always the same you inside. You can change the outside but changing/fixing the inside is a different story. Hopefully it is the same you making better decisions and fewer mistakes in 2017 😂. Most of us make New Year's Resolutions and I love new beginnings and do-overs as much as anyone. Sometimes I keep them and sometimes not. We will see how this year goes 😬2016 sucked so bad and I really hope 2017 is much better. I, of course, want to stay healthy, exercise and eat better (always #1 along with 90% of America). I want to keep on fundraising for our CURE fund and raise tons more $. I would like to be mentally healthier. I want be a better wife and mom by being more present and aware. I want to find more happiness, more good days and stay positive. I would like to travel more. I also want to focus on what's really important and not let everyday stresses get to me.
New Years Eve for us is usually pretty low key and kid involved. We prefer to stay off the roads and away from the CrAzY😜 This year we had an amazing dinner with the best of friends. Friends we have met during this cancer mess and friends who have supported us, loved us and never left our side. Moving to this new neighborhood before Mary was diagnosed and to the city of Milton was certainly on the top of our "life's best decisions list." Now, with that being said, please no one else come here. The traffic is getting a little ridiculous and new houses are starting to take over the beautiful farm land. We would like to keep this little piece of heaven on earth a secret as long as possible. We more than enjoyed the company of these close friends and our time with them was great...until 10 minutes before midnight when Whit informed me, with tears in his eyes, that he must head home. He said "We have to be home in our house as a family to celebrate the New Year." He seemed very adamant about this. We grabbed Maddy to leave and then she said, also with tears in her eyes, "I dont want to leave the party. I want us to stay at the party together as a family." Normally trying to please both kids would make me literally insane-because it is impossible to do. Also at this point we had about 7 minutes left to make an executive decision. We told Maddy we would leave her and friends would bring her home shortly and we left. Whit was happy but Maddy came home hysterical and had a big meltdown. Just lovely and Happy New Year to us! 😱😟I explained to her later that there was no way to please both of them and she would just have to understand that and move on. By the next day she was fine but I was left feeling very sad that I disappointed her and upset her. It wasn't something we thought too much about being an issue before hand and I was was totally unprepared for the ensuing drama. All I want and pretty much everything I do is to make and keep the kids happy. They have been through too much trauma already and anytime I can bring them any happiness I try to. I realize that sometimes this just isn't possible and there is absolutely no way to please everyone. Maybe this next year I need to focus more on me and what makes me happy. I admit that this is hard for me. I am a pleaser and a fixer and it isn't my nature to worry about myself. But I will try.
The New Year has many good parts but the bad parts are the life hurdles that are sometimes difficult to maneuver. First I am reminded of another year without my sweet Mary and this will be forever ongoing. Another year of pictures, moments and memories without her. It's very depressing and I can't focus on it too hard or very long. Also this time two years ago she was intubated with a lung bleed and we were so close to losing her. I have never been so scared as I was watching her sleep in a medically induced coma with tubes breathing for her and medication helping to keep her alive. I just prayed to have one more moment with her to talk to her, hear her sweet voice and to see her precious smile. That year I got my wish. She did wake up and we were given another 8 months with our angel. I am so grateful for that.
Coming up I will be doing the Cupid Undie Run in Atlanta for the second time. It is a fun time but more importantly it supports our good friend and sweet neighbor Jack Burke. He is a precious boy with a disease that also needs a cure and more funding, NF. One reason our community is probably so supportive and understanding of our situation is because of "Jacko". NF is a disorder where benign and/or malignant tumors grow on nerves with varying severities and there is no known cure. So you can understand why this family, boy and cause is close to our heart. They also work tirelessly to raise $ and find a cure. If you want to give to this important cause I am putting the link at the bottom of this page. You can go there to learn more facts about NF if you want. If you are blessed to meet or get to know Jack you will instantly fall in love with him like we have. He is a hard one to ignore in all of his suaveness.
I hope all of my family and friends have the best year yet in 2017. We are forever grateful you are on this journey with us.
https://my.cupids.org/participantdash.asp
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