Two of the longest years I've have ever known. 730 days without without your smiling face, beautiful heart and bright spirit. Two years of enough tears to fill an ocean. Two years of the worst longing and heart ache I have ever known. Some days I think I'm doing better, getting stronger. Some days your absence hits me like a ton of bricks and I can't function or move. I still can't go through your things or stay in your room for very long. I basically stay busy and live a life of denial, believing you will walk though the front door at any second telling me all about your day and talking non-stop. When I accept you are really gone that's when I feel like dying and like I can't breathe. I have to keep moving and breathing because people depend on me and I don't want to disappoint you. Death is permanent and I can leave family here behind. We have a lot of work still to do. I can't wish you back, cry you home, buy your freedom or pray your life to return back to me. What I do know is sometimes when I close my eyes you meet me in my memories, I sometimes get to hold onto you for a few precious seconds in my dreams. We are all guaranteed a final breath and I pray I see you one day on the other side. The waiting is hard and I'm not a patient person. In the meantime I will try to do what I can to educate and raise money and maybe save other lives in the process. We couldn't save yours and that will haunt me forever. I do know we did all we could and I know you also believe that as well. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed and I take nothing for granted. This is an invaluable lesson I hope everyone who hears your story learns. A lesson you taught me and countless others. Thank you for being my perfect daughter and blessing me every. single. day. We will honor you today and share happy memories because that is what you would want us to do. You left a big impression on this earth that won't easily be forgotten. I love you Mary. #takenothingforgranted
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