Hi Mary 😇

Spring break 2017 was relaxing and reenergizing. Something my soul really needed. Good times with friends is always much needed for the whole family and the kids really needed the break. Vacations are fun but also difficult because you know in your heart you are always missing one special person. It was a good week with tons of laughs, the best kids, ice cream runs, great food and awesome sunsets. We were very blessed to also spend some time with Peyton and Robert and their families. These are two cancer warriors and sweet friends of Mary's that mean the world to us. Honestly seeing Robert soaking up every second of the sand and sun after all he has been through broke my heart into pieces. He never stopped and never complained. I was beyond overjoyed to see him so happy. But he was so happy because he hasn't seen the ocean in years being that he has missed out on so much life because of damn cancer. Playing and rolling in the surf was something most kids take for granted, not Robert. Most kids complain they are hot, or tired, or sandy, or hungry, or bored. Imagine being bored at the beach???!!! Not Robert. He has spent more days fighting cancer than he has been alive. Yep, he just passed that milestone. It breaks my heart that the sweetest angels suffer the most. I got over my pity party eventually and later enjoyed our precious time with Robert. His smile and love for life is contagious just like Mary's and Lake's, explains the bond...there is a lesson in that. Next time you want to complain instead remember their smiles and their infectious love for life. Then just soak up the sun and take in the positives.
A few weeks before the trip I started doing something new. My best friend had been talking to me a lot about doing meditation for anxiety and trying some visualization strategies. I thought she was full of a bunch of baloney, but recently my brother in law was also talking about how much it has helped him. So I asked her more about it and she sent me some YouTube videos. Some seemed ridiculous, honestly. My nature is to do deep research into these things and I also did a lot more reading. I still am. Some of it is very interesting and much of it makes some sense. I am new at all of it but every morning at home I do breathing exercises and positive meditation. I figured it can't hurt, right? So one day I decided to do a visualization where I actually visited with Mary. It seemed very real and powerful. Once we were together in my mind there wasn't anything I really needed to ask her. I just wanted to hold her, kiss her and cry. Then I told her I needed to see tangible, undeniable signs. I needed to known she was always near. I needed her to show me without a doubt she was with me and approved of my path. When I came out of this meditation I was covered in tears, mentally exhausted and I haven't been able to do it since. But I have been able to have more peace. And also I know I can go back there if/when I need to. Well some amazing things have happened that makes me believe there is maybe something to all of this. The theory is that we are all energy and we can connect if we can get into a place of positivity and acceptance. And depending on what perspective we have we can manifest positives or negatives into our life. I for one want more positive. I do believe that the universe is a big and powerful place. There is a lot out there and absolutely no way we can understand everything. A few strange things happened the week leading up to the beach and while at the beach. Here are a few things from the beach: On the way to the beach I noticed a cloud that looked like an angel and a heart. I watched them for about 30 minutes and they never moved. They are clouds, no biggie. Then one evening we were taking sunset pictures and I noticed a strange glow on my hand. I thought it was just the reflection of my ring, but realized my ring was on my other hand. I started looking at the other pictures and the golden orb was in many others and in the live pictures it moves all around very strangely. I sent them to a photographer friend who told me that is not something she can explain. I then knew it was Mary. The next evening my parents were taking pictures in their back yard of a beautiful cross Steve Gray (@crossdesigns1991 FB:Crossroads Deaigns of Perry, GA) made for my dad. My dad is making a "Mary Garden". Mary loved collecting crosses and Mr. Gray made one we gave Whit for Christmas. Guess what? The same golden orb showed up in my parents  pictures in the garden around the cross moving all around. My sister took many picture and videos. There is no denying that Mary is with us. She came through. I am posting some of the the pictures so you can see it and decide for yourself.
For the first time in a very long time I feel strong and happy. I know Mary is with me in spirit. I feel even though my life is different and even though my path has changed it can still be a good, no a great and fulfilling path. I just have to let go, remember to not control everything. And just trust and BE STILL.