Grieving Mom's Club😔

The "Grieving Mom's Club".  A crappy name for a club no one wants to join. But it's a club you desperately might need to be in if you lose your child to cancer. Yes I am in this exclusive club. It's actually an amazing group of women. Some of the most beautiful and talented souls I have ever known are also in this crappy club. Sometimes I look around at these awesome ladies and I think to myself, "How did I end up here? Wow, I feel lucky to know them but sad to have to know them this way. Couldn't we have just met at a book club meeting or park or something? Because meeting like this sucks." Many times people contact me when they know someone with a sick cancer child and ask me if I would be willing to meet their friend whose child was just diagnosed. I am always willing but I must explain to them that most parents don't want to talk to me. They are searching for hope at the time of their child's cancer diagnosis. It's not easy for a grieving parent to offer a lot of hope. I can offer facts and friendship but these parents need to hear successes not failures. If their child loses their cancer battle then they will need me and I will surely be there.
In this club of mine we need each other desperately. I don't think I could survive without these brave and extraordinary women in my life. They give me strength and hope when I lose mine. A different kind of hope though.
Hope that I can survive another day. Hope that I am not losing my mind. Hope that my feelings are "normal". Hope that my all isn't lost. Hope that my fear can be overcome. Hope that the fog will lift. Hope that the tears will someday dry up. Hope that I will find my purpose again. Hope in a future. Hope in a better tomorrow. Hope that I won't suffer forever. Hope that I can be happy again. Hope in so many things.
We are all different in so many ways. And most of us probably would have never met if it wasn't for this damn cancer monster stealing our children away from us. Some of us are in different stages of life. Some of us have different religious beliefs. Some have different pasts and upbringings. Some of us are married and some of us are single or divorced. Some of us are in different stages of grief. But what is the same and what will always remain the same are these things: We have unconditional love, respect and understanding for one another. There are never any judgments. We are always free to feel how we feel no matter what. We are always real, open and honest. We let newcomers in although we really don't want to increase our numbers. Sadly our numbers do keep growing and growing and growing. I do know this, that I am grateful and blessed for each and every one of them. And I would be very lost without them. If you unfortunately ever find yourself needing to join the "Grieving Moms Club" we will regretfully let you in. The entry fee is steep but the rewards are comfort, love, acceptance, hope, friendship and maybe some earthy peace on your journey with us. We will walk with you, beside you and sometimes even carry you. We unfortunately know how uncomfortable those shoes of yours feel. And we are sorry. 😔❤️