Snake venom...

Snake venom...

After reading another moms heartfelt post about hurtful words I was compelled to write this entry. This is something I think every parent whose child is diagnosed with cancer experiences. I experienced this the most when Mary was toward the end of her treatment and we were grasping at straws for anything and everything to heal her. This is the honest truth about me, what people say rarely affects me. I have very thick skin. But words can hurt and for many families and people going through cancer treatment people's words and judgements hurt. So I just wanted to explain a few things and give some perspective. 

First imagine you are told your child has CANCER! Your biggest NIGHTMARE as a parent EVER. Then imagine you are told it is the most rare leukemia and aggressive type of leukemia you never knew existed. Research shows little is known about this leukemia and little has ever been done to find cures for this type of leukemia. Basically there are different types but all children are treated the same.  And then you are told you don't have time on your side and your only choice is chemo ASAP, so that is what you do. It is scary, very scary. Then you research. The doctors tell you not to read statistics on the internet, there is a reason. It will throw you into a complete panic. Well I am an information gatherer and I want to know everything-I research and get data. So this is what I learned...chemo is horrible, yes. The same chemo adults get children also get and the drugs haven't changed much in over 40 years. They cause a lot of damage such as heart problems and secondary cancers. But that is all we've got. And the chemo that might save my child will kill the cancer cells along with every other healthy cell in the bloodstream. I looked at the natural stuff too, I did. I would have coated Mary in honey if I thought that was a cure. I gave her alkaline water and snuck her some supplements too. They didn't work, FYI. Cannabus oil isn't a cure. Can it help? Maybe. But trust me I know plenty of people who have tried. I know plenty of vegans and non-hotdog eating, organic,  breast feeding mothers whose kids still got cancer. When taking with one doctor about all of this I will never forget him telling me "Snake venom is organic too and it can kill you." Think about that. Lots of drugs, even cancer fighting drugs come from organic products. Researchers are looking at everything under the sun. The NCI pulls things from the depths of the rain forrest and test it. Where do you think medicines and drugs come from? So when you send them messages about how natural products can heal cancer and post that sh*t it is hurtful and insulting to cancer parents. Please, I BEG you, just don't do it. Believe me, we live with plenty of guilt over what we must have done wrong to cause our children to have this cancer. Logically I know the answer is "We did nothing wrong".  The cause of our child's cancer is most likely biological or genetic...we don't really know. In adults we know cancer is mostly caused by environmental factors. In children, I believe, they are born with genetic markers or predisposition to the cancer. Cancers are different for children and adults. But the guilt is there regardless and if there was an easily accessible natural remedy then parents of children with cancer would know about it and use it. I know people care and have good intentions and I believe this with my whole heart, but please people-think! Also please never say this to a parent whose child has passed away, "Your child is now in a better place and no longer suffering." Like I said, if you have said this to me I did not take it personally. Please know this! I know you came from a place of love ❤️. Just know parents don't want to think about our child as having to have suffered. We believe they didn't suffer the whole time. Actually even though Mary fought the good fight and every moment of her treatment wasn't sunshine and roses she lead a good life and there were many happy times and smiles along the way. I don't believe she would have changed a thing and up until the very end she was a happy child. She gave us much happiness and love and suffered little. We made sure of that. So please don't tell us or anyone that their child suffered. That is very hurtful and painful to think about. We are the ones left here to suffer without the ones we love and miss the most. Ok, just needed to leave with a few words of wisdom for today. This is not to make anyone feel bad or guilty, but just to inform and to help save other cancer families some undue stress and pain ❤️ I hope this is helpful. www.curechildhoodcancer.org/united